Projects

Today, second business day of the month, was rough. I probably should have gone in early, but I ended up working about 11 hours anyway. I didn't stop to eat breakfast and barely took a break to run and get some food before planting myself in front of my computer again. I hate it when I feel incompetent, when I don't know how to do something, or when I do something wrong. Immediately I think "I hate my job!!!!" but then at the end of the day I had conquered an imposing mountain of a to-do list, sent out my last report around 6:30 and felt good, accomplished, proud of myself. I can handle it.

I'm trying to get back into praying... most of my spiritually disciplines have been sucky mc suckerson. Ok, all of my spiritual disciplines. :(

Anywho, I came home and heated up the last of the pancakes I had made for Matt & I yesterday for breakfast. I listened to Watermark: A Grateful People. This CD is AMAZING. I just love it. I usually listen to it while cooking or cleaning in the evenings and I feel it's kind of my album as an independent, working young adult. I read a chapter of "The Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide."

Then I went for a walk. I try to take a different route every day, even if it's just cutting between a different apartment building or taking a different path around that complex's pool. Today I cut back by the trees up along a ridge behind all the apartments in our area. I saw an overflowing dumpster on the horizon. As I neared, I saw it was overflowing mostly with furniture and branches. My eye wandered to some patio furniture sticking up on the top of the pile. Hmmm.......

I pulled a chair out and sat down. Comfy. Better than the rickety, gross chairs we had on our porch as a present from our previous occupants. The chair was a little dirty with some mold & mildew stains. I poked with my finger nail and it came off -- oh, I was sold. All I needed was a little soap and water. I struggled to get another chair out of the heap and sat it down. The last one in the dumpster had some of the pieces across the back broken, so I was glad to find a nice pair. I heaved one over my head and took the hilly way home, giggling with joy at my find. I took another route back, anxious if someone else had taken advantage of my pulling the chair out of the dump. I peaked around the corner and oh no! A guy was watching his dog sniff in the field and sauntered over to my chair and sat down looking content. Oh no you don't!! I mumbled. I continued on my usual path, wondering if he was going to keep it for himself.

I took the short path back anxious to know the fate of my second chair... would I be stuck with a lone seat? I wanted a pair!! I turned the corner, climbed the hill, searching the horizon.....where was it!? Wait! Someone had moved it to the far side of the dumpster, hiding it from plain view. Oh no you don't! I glanced around, hoisted it over my shoulder, and carried it home, wondering if someone was going to be disappointed I had found their hiding space.

I was excited and decided to put my enthusiasm to cleaning my chairs. I filled a bucket with a water and baking soda. I sprayed them down and scrubbed away, listening to my neighbors in the building over chattering away in happy Spanish. The brownish mildew gunk disappeared and I felt proud admiring my find and my elbow grease.

I like projects like this. When I say I wish I didn't have to work, it's not to watch TV or sleep all day.... it's to do projects, improve my cooking, write letters, take classes, visit farmers' markets, and volunteer wherever I can be of assistance. Ah well... maybe someday I'll be independently wealthy. Or well-married. ha, whatev. Until then.... it's long, hard days with some happy, little projects in the evenings.