back in the saddle

Jen & I had a great time in Beantown. I was glad she was with me since Matt had class and worked all day Thursday and most of the day Friday. It was pretty cold--we were always bundled up in heavy coats, gloves, hats, scarves. We took the T (Boston's public transportation system) everywhere.

We did the Freedom Trail (with a stop in the North end near Paul Revere's house in Little Italy. Point of notice: the Freedom Trail seems much better with half a bottle of wine in you...). At the end we took a water ferry instead of walking back across the bridge- so cool! For dinner we met my friend, Joyce, whom I studied abroad with, who now attends grad school at Tufts in Davis Square. We got coffee and then went back to her place for more hang outs.

Friday Jen & I took the Unofficial Hahvahd Tour, which is great. Then we met Matt at Bartley's for the best burgers in Boston. Jen & I played in those beautiful New England leaves in JFK memorial park in front of the Charles River where we even saw a rower in this chilly weather! *picturesque* We took the T to Fenway and walked around it then met Matt in Chinatown. We had some delicious food... including an Indian pancake w/yummy sauce. That night we stopped by Kick Ass Cupcakes, which had just opened. They were fine, but probably not worth $2.75/regular size (aka: tiny)cupcake. Mine was flavored mojito!

Saturday we got a huge breakfast at the Family Restaurant in Matt's closest square, Union Square. Then we began our journey to the JFK museum and presidential library. Well, we took the T and after walking several miles to the end of a bay behind UMass, but still following the signs to the museum, I finally asked a UMass student. She told me to get on the shuttle! That was a long, cold walk, but I'd say it was worth it. I had never been to a presidential library before, but I think I'd like to see more if I'm somewhere near one. For the trip back, we definitely waited for the shuttle, thank goodness.

Sunday we went to a church Matt has been going to a few times. We met a guy who Jen had met at Mizzou, and with whom Matt went to Walden's Pond when their mutual friend was in town a few months ago! Weird! The church was great - I really enjoyed it.

The message was on Ecclesiastes 7, which was fantastic, full of seeming contradiction, yet so full of wisdom. Sorrow is better than laughter... you never reconsider and reassess your life when things are going well. We need those times to force us to reflect and go deeper, to really consider where we are and what we're doing. Like CS Lewis says (paraphrased), "God whispers to us in our pleasures but shouts at us through our pain. Pain is God's megaphone for a deaf heart." Empty laughter is meaningless; our conversations need to go deeper and bring up painful things if neccessary. "Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient spirit is better than the proud spirit" & "Say not 'why were the former days not better than these?' ": it is so easy to compare the 'good old days' with now and be depressed or feel like you are not where you are supposed to be. Things change, and though outwardly things may appear worse, these are the times when you are living with depth and working through big things. I think this period of life is called your twenties. Before this, everything was kind of carefree, decided for you. Also, it's easy to be this way about romantic relationships--oh, for those days when we were first together!! But that is infatuation, not love. Love rides out the hard parts and works through the rough edges of the girl and guy. It's a process of sanctification. God is going to bring you to completion! Patience... It's a grueling marathon, but imagine the joy and victory of the finish line. And finally, don't harbor anger. It lodges in your heart. Sometimes you need time to realize the argument wasn't a big deal. But, that is not an excuse to ignore or run from problems.

This passage and sermon spoke to Matt and I at nearly every turn. Sunday night after walking through Boston Public Gardens, looking around cool shops, eating a hotdog and fried dough from a vendor in the park, and then eating a delicious meal at a Peruvian restaurant, Matt & I sat down at a coffee shop in Union Square and delved into many issues. I cried a lot. We affirmed our love for one another, let our emotions, anger, and confusion show, and made a commitment to work. Many of our relational problems are linked to our personal personality traits and sin problems. We can both be so alike, which is not necessarily a good thing. We tend to go passive-aggressive, to be independent and tending to draw into ourselves, to throw things when we get off the phone, to not allow our emotions to show, to not open ourselves up and work through problems... and for what reason??? We have both been deceived into thinking this is easier, but oh, how it grows. And how it weighs! We aren't sure how to "fix" us... but we are praying and seeking God to move in each of us individually which will make needed changes between us relationally. We need to get down to the heart of the matter which can lead back to those awesome lessons on idols at the Journey. I want to have this free, open, vulnerable, say anything, wear myself on my sleeve, I know everything about you and you about me kind of relationship with him. I want us to work. I want us to fall in love again. We are at the end of ourselves, so maybe we will finally give God a chance to work and have His way with us.

Regardless, He is going to work. And so blessed be His name.