running with martyrs & thieves

Yesterday morning I went for a run before church. It's happening people... there is something strangely addicting about it...running.

I will still maintain that I hate running--it's a horrible feeling feeling so horrible. And yet, the past month as I have been training for my triathlon, dragging myself out of bed at 6:30 in the morning, sweating as soon as I open the door, so flushed that the redness hangs in my cheeks as I enter the office an hour later--little by little I began to strangely enjoy it. In the past when I got uncommonly motivated once a year or so to go for a jog, I would return defeated, writing it off as an inhumane form of exercise for another year. Having a specific goal in mind was extremely necessary for me to face the Evil of Running. Plus, it is one of the very few times I am alone, concentrating on only one thing, and even listening to good music... a quiet pleasure I rarely have time to indulge.

Sunday's playlist:
Love is Not Against the Law, Derek Webb
Love Song, Anberlin
Love Song, Sara Bareilles
Love Song for No One, John Mayer
Low, Coldplay
Lunacy, Rue Royale
Martyrs and Thieves, Jennifer Knapp
Mockingbird, Derek Webb

Man, I have such good music. As you can see, I listen to them alphabetically by title because I haven't taken the time to figure out if my mp3 player has a random setting.

The day's most poignant song: Martyrs & Thieves. J-Knapp rocks my face off, like for real. I want to be like her, but my guitar skills are so sub-par. I wish I could express myself as well as she... these lyrics... paint my heart... each verse... find it & listen to it. Let it sink in.

martyrs & thieves, jennifer knapp

There's a place in the darkness that I used to cling to
It presses harsh hope against time
In the absence of martyrs there's a presence of thieves
Who only want to rob you blind
They steal away any sense of peace
Though I'm a king I'm a king on my knees
And I know they are wrong when they say I am strong
As the darkness covers me

So turn on the light and reveal all the glory
I am not afraid
To bare all my weakness knowing in meekness
I have a kingdom to gain
Where there is peace and love in the light, in the light
Oh I am not afraid
To let Your light shine bright in my life, in my life
Oh I am...

There are ghosts from my past who've owned more of my soul
Than I thought I had given away
They linger in closets and under my bed
And in pictures less proudly displayed
A great fool in my life I have been
Have squandered till pallid and thin
Hung my head in shame and refused to take blame
For the darkness I know I've let win

Can you hear me?

Well I've never been much for the baring of soul
In the presence of any man
I'd rather keep to myself all safe and secure
In the arms of a sinner I am
Could it be that my worth should depend
By the crimson stained grace on a hand
And like a lamp on a hill Lord I pray in Your will
To reveal all of You that I can

There's a place in the darkness that I used to cling to
It presses harsh hope against time...