Sunday, September 30, 2007

la di da

Happy birthday to Matt! He's 24... quite the old man.

Work is exploding again... ay yi yi. I'm already behind for the first day of the month on Monday. I'll just push through and work strong and steady. For 12 hours. Wait. Can't do that. I have class Monday night at 6pm. :-/

I hope my friend, Beth, gets called back for another interview with my company. That'd be so swell!

Friday night I worked till about 7pm and met up with my roommie, Jen, at her high school alma mater's homecoming game. I love fall and football!!! High school - what a strange time and place.

I love Saturdays. I love the freedom of them. They are my day. I don't usually have many, if any, commitments, so as long as I am in town, I have a whole day to CHOOSE! The what, the where, the with whom! And when a Saturday is a gorgeous fall one like today... MMMMM! I eat it up. Savor it. Even doing dishes, taking Darla for a walk, reading for class, running errands...... don't mind it. There is something about have a day to choose. There is freedom.

I think fall may be turning into my favorite. I like to call it autumn. Poetic, you know.

Tonight I went to a women's game night with the Journey ladies. It was great! You know, showing up at a random person's house, playing games, trying to form a small circle of acquaintances in a huge church of faces. My community group starts up next week. Yay! And I'm helping out with that block party next Friday in the city.

Sometimes Matt & I go for a while without communicating. Sometimes logistically we just miss each other for a day or two with schedules and timing and exhaustion. And then sometimes we are on the phone for a while only to hang up frustrated or exasperated. I know he is under stress and transition and dealing with change. I know on the phone I can tend to wander and get so sleepy. The simplest things get so wearing when you're so far apart. Sometimes the distance is more than just 1500 miles- we are so separate. Our lives don't cross naturally day in and day out like "normal" relationships. It's disconcerting. Wanting to know and share everything -- it's overwhelming to rely on a phone call once every night (if we're lucky) to get it all done. Sometimes looking back on old pictures and journal entries, reminiscing, I just miss him. I miss us.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

oh man, i remember well those frustrations.

in london, i began to HATE the phone...but regardless, it was still my best link to him.

how do you reduce this entire relationship between two humans to a voice in a line?

i did have an amazing time of growth for those 5 weeks or so that we didn't communicate at all. i needed that. fasts can do wonders.